Gambling

In keeping with my elder siblings' tradition of whining about things that piss them off, I have decided to discuss something that annoys me to no end: gambling. I don't mean the kind of gambling that most people think of; I've nothing against poker or Las Vegas or putting a few bucks on the game. No, the gambling I speak of is of a much more sinister nature. Indeed, it is so vile that few even recognise what it is. I tell you now, I am one of those enlightened few. And while the burden of this knowledge is a heavy one, I am confident that you, my worthy disciples, will be able to handle the strain.
Let me first make one simple clarification of how I define gambling. When you enter into an agreement with another person or organisation that if one event happens, you get their money, but if another event happens, they get your money, you have gambled. The implication is that some element of chance is involved - if there's no chance you could lose, it's not a gamble. I think this is a fairly reasonable definition. If anyone has a problem with this, please, let me know so that I can express my complete disregard for your opinion.
Now, consider how casinos make their money. You're all aware; the odds are massively stacked against the gambler. The chances of winning are significantly lower than the chances of losing. You can tell this because the casinos consistently make large amounts of money. If they didn't win most of the time, they would not be in business. The gambling I speak of operates on the same principle, except on a much larger scale. The customer base of these companies is enormous - it is actually required by law for most people to gamble with them.
What companies, you ask? The insurance companies. These places make tons of money. Berkshire-Hathaway, which you may know as Warren Buffet's company (Forbes' 2nd richest man in the world), a company whose stock is currently worth over $100,000, is an insurance company. People make deals with these companies saying that if they get hurt, the company gives them money; if they don't, then they give the company money (actually they always give the company money, but the end result is the same). Per my earlier definition of gambling, I hereby accuse people who fraternize with insurance companies as gamblers. That's right. You thought your old man who blew his paycheck down at Foxwoods was bad? You're just as bad, because you are sinking massive quantities of your own paycheck into a similar gamble. Really, it's a worse gamble, because you're betting that something bad is going to happen to you.
For some reason people do not seem to understand this. Insurance companies make money by preying on people's fears. Statistically speaking, you are as likely to collect on your insurance as you are to win the lottery. And the insurance company is going to raise your premiums if you do collect. Most people are simply too afraid to play the odds. They live their lives behind the bars of insurance, too frightened to step out into the freedom of statistical analysis.
Instead of cowering in a corner and wondering "what if I get cancer?", try canceling your insurance and putting the money you usually spent on premiums into a bank account. Even better, invest. Earn 15% off the money you were previously throwing in the trash.
Now normally I would not be mad about this. All you infidels are welcome to give away as much of your own money as you like. I couldn't care less what various ill-advised investments you make. But when I get a letter advising me that I am required as a student to have health insurance, then I get pissed off. A year ago I wasn't allowed to gamble, and now I am required to? Whose idea was this?