Rise of Zit Boy

I recently had the inordinate pleasure of watching the popular television show "American Idol." On this program, "wannabes" and "gonnabes" exhibit their talent, or lack thereof, to a panel of judges who unerringly target and mock those who show some degree of imperfection. I especially like it when they burst out laughing before the contestant finishes. Classy.
The popularity of the show, of course, comes from the people who absolutely suck. People with no talent whatsoever who come on the show and embarrass themselves on national television. And then they have the nerve to act disappointed when they are not chosen to be stars. This is the show where I saw an overweight, unattractive girl with absolutely no dancing talent attempt to perform a ballet routine. As I recall, it resembled a huge, hideous egg rolling about on the stage. She also threw up off the edge halfway through.
I am convinced that no human being is this stupid. No one in their right mind thinks they will win this thing. Clearly they are being brainwashed. Who is the culprit? Parents. That's right. Instead of encouraging your child's ambitions to succeed at something they suck at, share with them the wise words of a modern-day prophet: Tyler Durden. Instead of saying grace at dinner every night, repeat his words: "You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake." Let each child know, let them truly believe, that they are indeed "the same decaying organic matter as everything else."

Maybe then we wouldn't have to bear witness to this hideous montage of humiliation and shame.